As you go through life you set goals and finish lines for yourself. Often times it seems like when you finally decided to make a change, life comes out of nowhere and busts you upside the head. It’s amazing to me that life has such impeccable timing. I don’t smoke cigarettes, but I have a friend who does, and every time he would say “this is it man, I’m done smoking” something would happen and that was it. The stress was too much and one cannot stop smoking while under stress, at least that’s what he would say.
I find that I’m not that much different. When I’m happy and all is working smoothly like a well oiled machine, it doesn’t take as much effort to stay on track. However, sometimes it feels like life knows when these moments happen. It’s as if life has a comfort-meter and as soon as you reach a place where you think “smooth sailing ahead” that’s when life kicks up a storm. I recently had one of those things happen to me, it happened so unexpectedly and so out of nowhere that even now I’m still having a hard time adjusting to the change.
It did however get me thinking. I started to realize that these things happen, that despite what I may feel about it, the reality is that there is no going back, there is no changing the past, there is only making a new path forward. Then I thought that maybe it’s a good thing that it happened. Maybe, it’s just what I needed. Often times we don’t realize that hardships are blessings in disguise. We think “man, this sucks!” and we don’t realize that taking care of that problem is what leads us to leveling up. I often find myself dwelling and sitting on the feels and just letting them soak into my being. I somehow trick myself into thinking that if I sit and wallow the answer will somehow come to me from that place.
Unfortunately, even though it’s a good thing to experience the negative and not run away from problems by doing drugs or other ill advised activities. It is still not recommended to sit and do nothing about it. You can spend a lifetime dwelling and mauling over the same depressing moments over and over again, but that’s no way to live. What I’m trying to say is life makes you stronger by leaving you no choice but to fight back. It is the effort you make to keep moving forward, specially when you feel down, that generates growth like you never had before. Yet, often times I find myself avoiding the actions necessary for getting out. I know what I have to do but the bad feelings are still there, and somehow I allow them to paralyze me, I dare not make a move.
The truth is, I think, that it all stems from fear. A fear to do more, a fear of being more. A fear of failure and even a fear of success. I think it’s equally scary to think that your dreams can come true and you won’t know how to handle it. Maybe you feel like you’re not ready or you don’t deserve it. It’s hard when life puts you down to think that you deserve better. It may feel like you’re in so deep that you might as well just sit there and dwell on how bad things are. The reality is that things are not that bad. Things only feel overwhelming in the moment, but every problem can be solved when broken down into smaller parts. One mustn’t drown in a tea cup.
Positive action is the only solution. Since I began my journey to self-improvement I began to pick up on good habits. I began exercising, and eating healthy, I also began spending more time doing the things I want to do. Despite how angry and indignant I feel, I know I must keep moving forward. I know that I am not above it all, and life can still tear me down even when I’m doing my best. I don’t know how many of you reading this can relate but if you’re going through the same thing my only advice is don’t overthink the problem. The problem has already been presented, that’s not the part that needs thinking. What you must focus on is the solution, you must focus on the bright side. Although sometimes you may not like the solution, it’s important to keep growing and sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow.
Discomfort is a catalyst for action. When life presents you with moments when you want to just quit, that should be a sign that you need to make a change. I know my downfalls and I don’t like the solution to my problem, but that’s part of why I must make a change. I know that if I make the effort and I keep moving forward I will not only become stronger but I will feel better. I know that this setback is just an opportunity in disguise and to those of you still reading, that is the same mindset you must have towards life’s curb balls.
I’ll leave you with this: It is important to be self-aware and acknowledge your emotions, but there must come a point where you accept the unfairness of life and take action. As hard as it may be, you have to break your own uncomfortable shell so that you may grown a new one. Just like lobsters we may have to do this many times in our lifetime, but its part of living, so you might as well get used to it.